Dear family and friends:

I write this to all of you to explain, as best as I can, why I have switched the divorce proceedings between myself and Anna to that of separation instead of divorce. For those students visiting from my website, I guess I need to provide a disclaimer of some sort because I am going to talk about my personal, spiritual beliefs, none of which are sanctioned and/or related to VVC.

Those of you who have known Anna and I well know that we love each other very much, but are very different in how we view life, lifestyles, people and things. Trying to live together as a blended family was very difficult for over five years. Now we are living in separate states while we continue to seek the Lord's will for our futures.

Over the past six months of pursuing a divorce, I was very uneasy about the whole scenario, but really could see no other way for us to reconcile and be able to live together as a blended family. Quite honestly, I still can't see it, but have decided to “Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5, NIV) Here is the same verse, as paraphrased in the Message; “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen to God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track.”

Now before I lose you to thinking that I have switched the divorce to separation out of a religious spirit, let me assure you that it isn't like that at all. For those of you who think that the switch is for financial reasons, let me assure you that that really wasn't the reason. I was under that thought process that focusing on my children, Matthew and Bailey, while still trying to be husband to Anna were two mutually exclusive actions. I think the Lord has shown me that not to be the case. Last month, a prophesy came forth for me saying that, and I paraphrase, there were “major changes in the near future for me, but not to worry-the Lord would be with me through every step of the way.” So for those who wish to attribute my recent paradigm switch to one of the reasons above, let me tell you that it is not out of a religious spirit. Instead, I am taking a step of faith, and that I am praying that God will liken it unto righteousness for me.

I have recently been challenged, or should I say witnessed to, by an article I found online called the Restoration of Christian Marriage. It went though an exhaustive study of what the Bible says about divorce. Rather than looking at it from our current (warped) twentieth-century mindsets, it went back and looked at the writings of the early church leaders. The bottom line, as I now bear witness, is that God hates divorce and doesn't allow any exceptions to the rule. While there are those of you out there who may disagree and want to bring up exceptions and laws of grace, feel free. But for me, the Spirit has witnessed to my heart that Anna and I are married in the Lord's eyes and that “no man should separate what God has joined together.”

I need to repent of hardness of heart, as well as my mindset while seeking divorce. The thoughts of considering remarriage again somewhere down the road were wrong thoughts to have while in the midst of my separation. I guess I also need to apologize / repent to those who I have called “Bible-thumpers” or extremists over the years since I am taking what might be considered an extreme position right now. I think I really owe my grandfather Herb an apology (God rest his soul) for rebelling against his extremist political views which I am now beginning to make my own.

So “why now?” you might ask. What so drastically changed things to get me to this viewpoint? Well, all I can say is that it is likely a combination of things: the Lord working in my heart, my desire to do the right thing, or perhaps how Anna witnessed to me of her love over that past six months in how she never once doubted in the Lord. What was it about the article I previously mentioned that was able to reach into my heart and grab hold of it when other things were not able to? Perhaps my studies of cultural documents while in college taking American Studies classes: I've always known how messed-up our American church is; the ability to hear the direct teachings of Jesus from those who were his contemporaries also made a big impact.

So, the next question is: What is going to happen next between you and Anna? The real answer is “I don't know.” What I do know is that we are not able to live together at this time, or any time in the near future as a blended family. I also know that I am going to be giving my full attention to Matthew and Bailey during these next few years that I have left raising them. I do know that I will be seeking spiritual growth to fully become the man that God want me to be. It was prophesied over me in the early 1990's that “God is into the details with this man.” Perhaps that is why I am where I am now.